When we are younger, we often times get taught that skipping will get you your results faster. It starts of innocent. “Skip your homework, you don’t really need it”. Skip your workouts, skip your assignment. Skip your chores. We think skipping will make things go by faster and easier.
And sure, often times it’ll result in instant gratification, but it will never yield the results that you want, that you need. Don’t skip the pain.
I pray that you find the strength to keep going. I pray that you push through the pain. The only way to get over the heartbreak is to go right through it. Heartbreak and disappointment in a way are like a storm. A giant dark storm that has no ending in sight. Your first instinct will be to try and outrun it. To go around it. To try and avoid it altogether or minimize the damage.
But you’d be wrong to attempt it. You can’t outrun a storm, and you can’t outrun heartbreak. Sooner or later, it’ll catch up with you. All you’re doing by trying to outrun it, is avoiding the inevitable. The only way to overcome the dark cloud that’s looming over your head is to go straight through it.
Head held high, eyed focused on the endgame, you may not see it. Your vision clouded by darkness and pain. But it’s there. There is light at the end of the tunnel. There is sunshine behind the storm.
There’s a purpose for everything in life. You may not see it, but the pain that you’re feeling today, the loss, the disappointment, it isn’t a punishment, it’s God’s way of preparing you for what lies ahead.
He’s getting you ready. He’s sharpening you. The pain and loss is helping you become the person you were always meant to be.
I know it doesn’t feel like a blessing right now, but one day you will look back at this season and be grateful that you went through it. Because without it, you would never grow.
Without the struggle there would be no improvement.
There’s a reason for the pain. There’s a reason for the loss. Pain signals the body that there is something wrong. Something that requires your full and undivided attention. You don’t have pain for no reason.
When you sustain a physical injury your body will send signals to your brain that there is something wrong. Something requires fixing. And when that happens, you don’t just ignore the pain do you? You don’t just pretend your ankle isn’t sprained. You don’t just pretend that you’re not sick.
No, instead you assess the situation, maybe go see a doctor and find a diagnosis to your injury or illness and start looking at a treatment plan. You fix the issue. You try and heal any illness or injury that you’ve sustained.
Just like physical pain has a purpose, the purpose of protecting you, to prevent further damage, heartbreak and emotional pain also have a purpose.
What you need to do when that heartbreak is occurring, is to stop and assess the situation. Analyze the damage, see what went wrong and where, and then acquire a treatment plan.
Don’t try to pretend like the pain isn’t there. Don’t skip the healing process, and don’t try to fill that void with an external source.
You need to feel everything you need to feel. Get rid of the distractions. Stop trying to numb the pain. Stop trying to skip the steps that your body and mind need in order to heal and overcome the injury it has sustained.
Because heartbreak and disappointment are both severe injuries to your body. You may not physically be able to see them but trust me that they are there. They are deep inside of you, invisible to the naked eye. But they’re wreaking havoc inside of you. Like a cancer. Turning your world upside down.
I pray that you find the strength to admit that you’re hurting and embrace it. Embrace the pain, embrace the loss. Learn from it, grow from it, overcome it.
Time doesn’t make it easier, it makes you stronger.
How do athletes get stronger in order to compete? They endure, they persevere, they overcome.
Just like they get stronger by enduring all the long hours of physical pain and struggle, you also need to endure the pain if you want to get stronger, if you want to grow.
Don’t try and skip the pain, don’t try to ignore it. It’s there for a reason.
When I was in high school, I used to play football. I wasn’t the best, but I definitely wasn’t the worst. One day during the end of my junior year, I somehow ended up finding the only hole in the ground on our practice field and stepped right into it. Like I said; I wasn’t the best.
I ended up breaking my ankle. This was over 9 years ago, and I can still remember the pain like it was yesterday.
My ankle instantly became the size of a baseball. The pain, excruciating. I could barely get up. At first our athletic trainer at the time thought it was just a severe sprain. Only a week later however, did I find out that I actually managed to break part of the bone.
Invisible to the naked eye, but clearly noticeable with the help of an X-Ray did the doctor figure out what was wrong.
See, my body suffered severe physical trauma and the way it protected itself and in turn me, was by creating the swelling to immobilize me. To keep me off my feet. My body created the pain to signal me that there was something wrong, to stop me from what I was doing and deal with whatever was wrong.
The pain kept me out of the game and the swelling protected the bone from further damage.
Your body is designed to protect itself. It’s made to endure, to persevere.
If there was no pain, if there was no swelling, I would have kept on playing the game. Maybe I would have made it through the drive or even the game, but sooner or later it would have caught up with me.
If I would have ignored the pain and kept playing through it, I would have inevitably hurt myself even more.
I ended up being out for the rest of the season and most of the summer. I had to wear a cast for almost two months in order to protect the bone and let my body do its healing.
There was no cure, no easy fix. No 12-step program to mend the broken bone. I couldn’t just bounce back into the game, I had to heal, I had to endure.
The way we treat a broken bone, is the same way we need to treat a broken heart.
You don’t just ‘get over’ a broken bone’. You don’t just take a few weeks off and then go right back to where you left of.
No, it takes time. It’s a process. And when it’s all said and done, when the bone has healed, when the wound has closed, the illness has been overcome, you don’t just jump right back in the action. Why? Because if you continue at the same rate where you left of before the injury, you’ll end up right back again with another injury.
When I took off my cast after almost 2 months, I had to relearn how to run, how to sprint, how to back-paddle, how to cut, how to jump. The muscles around my bone wear weakened from the lack of exercise, so I had to strengthen them in order to protect my joint and ligaments. I had to get stronger.
Physical therapy is the key to recovering from a physical injury. I was doing PT for almost 6 months AFTER my bone was completely healed.
Not 6 months after the injury, but rather after all the healing was done. I had to slowly work my way up again and rebuild.
Heartbreak is the same in a way. Just because you finished healing, doesn’t mean you should jump right back into the next relationship. It’s okay to be alone for a while. Relationships will not bring you true happiness.
I pray that you find the strength to not skip the pain. Do not skip the healing process. Do not pretend like it isn’t happening. Don’t jump from one relationship to another. Don’t try and take the easy way out.
Don’t try to numb the pain with drugs, alcohol or sex. You cannot fill that hole in your heart with that.
The only way to mend a broken heart, is to let God do the mending.
“The lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit”. (Psalm 34:18)
Put God first and watch how everything else will fall into place. Put God first and let him turn your heartbreak into happiness.