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It's Okay to Ask for Help

Posted on October 31 2019

It's Okay to Ask for Help

We all struggle with things in life. We all have demons. Bottling them up and pretending that they aren’t there is not the answer. There’s nothing remotely weak about seeking help and talking to someone about your problems. We all fall down in life. We all suffer emotional trauma at some point.


‘Therapy’ or ‘emotional help’ is often used in a negative way to describe someone who is weak. Many people believe that reaching out for help when you’re struggling is a sign of weakness. I can’t stress enough how strongly I disagree with such a way of thinking.


Let me tell you right now that seeking help and talking about your issues to a complete stranger is one of the hardest things anyone could ever do. That takes real strength. That takes courage and guts. I know it’s a lot easier to pretend like everything is okay. To pretend that you aren’t hurting. That losing them didn’t affect you.


But the truth of the matter is, that loss did affect you. That person damaged you severely. And merely ignoring that won’t erase the pain. I know that asking for help when you’re broken may seem like the hardest thing to do in the world, but I promise you that it’s profoundly easier than simply trying to bury the heartache. Because it will resurface if you don’t address it.


It was incredibly difficult for me to admit that I needed help. That I’ve suffered emotional damage that could be traced back years, and that it was time I needed to talk to someone. Especially as a man. Being emotionally vulnerable is challenging for us. But there is a reason the suicide rate in men is almost 4 times higher than in women. We don’t like to talk about the things that eat at us. The things that trouble us. The regrets, the heartache, the disappointment, the grief, the failures.


Not until it is too late.


We bottle all that hurt up inside of us and pretend like it doesn’t affect us. When deep down, we know it’s killing us. But that isn’t me anymore. The older I get, the more I realize that your mental health is the most crucial part of your life. For a very long time, my mind was a terrible place to be.


Therapy has been an enormous help in finding my peace. I am 26 years old, and I see my growth when I can sit in a chair and admit to my mistakes, my flaws, and my toxic behaviors that I may have been exhibiting for years. And instead of deflecting, I accept that it is my own responsibility to fix those dysfunctions.


I am a grown man; I am not afraid to look myself in the eyes and admit that I’ve been wounded. And those wounds need healing. Because if you don’t heal, you end up bleeding on people who never even caused the wounds to begin with. And I know I could never bring myself to do that again. I am done hurting the people who didn’t create these scars.


What does going to the gym 6 days a week and eating healthy matter, when you don’t know how to take care of your mind? What does it matter that you’re driving a nice car when the thoughts inside your head are driving you crazy?


Living in a beautiful house isn’t relevant when you have demons residing inside your head. You need to start prioritizing your mental health in the same way you would prioritize your physical health. The same way you take care of your nails, your hair, your clothes, your car, is the same way you need to protect your mind. You need to nourish your thoughts and exercise your mental thoughts.


Clean your thoughts the same way you’d clean your $250 sneakers. Nourish your mental health the same way you’d nourish your muscles.


It’s time to take care of the one thing that matters the most; your mental health. Everything else will follow.


I promise you that it’s okay to ask a stranger for help. It’s okay to reach out. But you have to make the first step.


You have to accept that it is okay to be vulnerable and open up. Before it’s too late. Once you start to really try to heal from mental trauma, you will see how much more peaceful your life will be.