All this time I thought that I had lost you. But then it dawned on me, I never lost you because you were never mine to begin with. You can’t lose what you never had. How can you lose someone you don’t even know?
I look at old pictures of us and come to realize that I do not know the person next to me. I don’t know who stood there by my side. I don’t know the person who you are, I don’t think I ever did. Because the person you are today isn’t the person in that picture.
They tell me things about you, things you do, and I have a hard time believing what they say. Because the person I knew couldn’t possibly be the person that they’re describing.
It is easy to see now with hindsight that I did not know you. There were superficial things I could correctly identify, of course, but the majority of what I thought to be “you” was just an illusion.
I had gotten myself consumed in the desire to know you, enough so to miss you entirely. And now, when I hear your name occasionally, I wonder more than anything who you actually are.
I wonder why I had to waste two years of my life in order to figure out what I really wanted and needed. And what I didn’t need.
I realize that people bring out different qualities in you. The person you were with me for two years is not the person you are today. That person died along with this relationship.
It was a lesson learned. I’ve known for a while now that God brought you into my life for a specific reason. Ironically enough, he brought you into my life so I could meet him. So I could finally establish a relationship with him. I didn’t know it, but he always knew. He knew you were the key to unlock my faith. To open the door that needed to be opened.
Yet, although I Know why he brought you into my life, I couldn’t fathom as to why he removed you from it. Why did he put me through all this mess? Why let me walk through hell and back?
I couldn’t truly move on without finding the answer to that question. I was missing the last piece of the puzzle and I just couldn’t figure it out. I kept asking God “why”? Why are you doing this?
I knew why we met. I just didn’t know why we had to end. And then it finally made all sense when they told me about your new life.
I looked at an old picture of us and realized that I am staring at a stranger. The person I am looking at, the person they told me about, is not the person I knew. I don’t know you. You’re no longer the person I fell in love with. You’re not the person from all those memories.
In that moment I realized why God removed her from my life. Because the person I knew, the person I loved, the person who taught me so much, that person had died.
That person died the minute she served her purpose in my life. She did what she had to do in order to help me grow. She was who she was to me because of her purpose.
Her purpose was to bring me closer to God. To enlighten me. The minute she accomplished that goal, her purpose was served. She became impertinent to my life. Which is why God removed her.
I will always be grateful for the role that she played in my life. But I finally found the answer I've been looking for all this time. I finally found the last piece of the puzzle.
See, sometimes good things fall apart, and we catch ourselves wondering as to why it had to happen. Why it had to end. And often times it isn’t because of external factors or reasons. Sure people make mistakes and partially that is why relationships end, but more often than not, it ends because it was always meant to end.
It ended because that person’s purpose was served. They came into your life and did what they were supposed to. And sometimes their purpose lies in the ending itself.
It was always supposed to end.
If it wasn’t the lie that ended you two, it would have been a fight three months down the line. If it wasn’t the fighting it would have been a falling out. If it wasn’t a fall out that ended you two, you two would have grown apart months down the line.
It was always meant to end.
Just like the two of you were meant to fall in love with each other, in order to help each other grow and become better, you were also meant to part ways for the same reasons.
People leave your life because they are supposed to. Don’t be mad at them for walking away or for starting over with someone else. They are on to their next purpose. And you need to focus on yours.
One day you may find yourself looking at a picture of the person you were once with and come to realize that, you do not recognize the person you are looking at. You may hear certain things about a certain someone and find yourself in disbelieve. Shocked that they’re talking about the same person that once shared a life with you.
You’re going to have to come to terms with the fact that the person who you once knew, no longer exists. That person died the minute they exited your life. You don’t know them anymore. And that is perfectly okay.
God brought them into your life. They were who they were because of him. Because he needed them to be a certain way with you. Now that they no longer are with you, they will no longer be that person.
So don’t feel bad when you don’t recognize them. Don’t be disappointed or confused.
It isn’t their fault, and it isn’t yours. You don’t know them anymore. The person you once knew is long gone. Gone with the relationship.
Everyone you meet in life has a purpose, and if you’re lucky the person’s purpose who you are with, doesn’t have an expiration date.