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Motivation

Surround Yourself with People you can Build with

Surround Yourself with People you can Build with

by Marvin Scholz

March 08, 2017


You can tell a lot about a man when you look at who he surrounds himself with; his friends, his associates, his partner.
“Show me your friends and I show you who you are”.  A saying that couldn’t be more accurate.
Surround yourself with people that you can build with. Build businesses, build bonds that last a lifetime, build something that you can look back at and say: “I am proud of this”.
How many people do you know that you can call up on a Friday night to go out and get drunk with? I bet you a pretty good amount. Now tell me how many friends do you have that you could call on a Friday night and say “Hey man I have a great business idea and I would love to work with you on it, would you want to hear me out”? I bet that list of friends just got a lot shorter.  That’s the problem; everyone is always down to have a good time but no one is willing to put in the work.
You need to surround yourself with people that push you, push you to be better. Whether that means helping them with school work, hearing them out on their business ideas, giving them feedback on projects that they are working on. Whatever the case may be, just help them be better, because they should want to do the same to you.  I want my friends to ask me about my goals, my dreams, what I’m working on accomplishing. Not whether or not I want to go get blackout drunk with you like that shit doesn’t get old.
You are who you surround yourself with. Do you know what all successful people have in common? Successful people surround themselves with other successful people! They don't have time nor feel the need to be around people that they cannot relate with.  And that's what you need to be doing, even if you're not successful at this point in time. Because guess what, you want to be. And that's what counts. So surround yourself with people who desire the same. The type of people whose eyes light up when they tell you about their goals and dreams. Those are the type of people you want to be around with.
The same goes with who you're dating. Your partner is a direct reflection of you.  I'm 24 years old and I'm too old to just be dating for the hell of it. I don't just date anyone. If I'm dating you, it's because I see potential in you, I see a future with you. And that's how you have to treat every relationship and every friendship. Let's figure this crazy thing called 'life' out together.
You help me become better and I help you. Because no one can do it all alone. And that's what really matters. And there will be a time where you put your heart and soul into someone and it ends up being a one way street. You make them better, you help them get on their feet, and you don't seem to get anything in return. You know what, that’s okay. It happens; someone else will reap the fruit of your labor. It won't be you, and that's life. You did the best you could and now it's time to cut your losses and move on. You learned your lesson.
 And then there are the relationships where you both will feed off each other's ambitions and work ethic. Where being stagnant isn't an option and where both parties pitch in, 50/50 no matter what. Those are the rare relationships that you want to cherish and nourish. That's someone you can build something with. That is a person that you want to surround yourself with.
I have a friend of mine who was dating this girl for four years. And during those four years he literally had to pay for everything. EVERYTHING.  Dinner, movies, vacation you name it. I mean this guy couldn't take a piss without his girlfriend demanding something in return. It was insane. I would tell him to come out and travel with me or go on a little getaway weekend trip with us.
His response was always the same; "I'm sorry man, I would have to pay for me and (inserts shitty girlfriend name here), and I can't afford that right now. How sad is that? You have to pay for your significant other or else you cannot go. That's crazy to me. And it's not like she didn't have a job or anything. She worked, she had her own money. But apparently he thought he was responsible for her bills. 
That’s someone you want to stay away from. You want your partner to make you better. Not cost you a bunch of money and headache. The whole notion of the guy always having to pay for everything is completely ridiculous to me anyways. If I ask a girl out on a date, of course I’ll pay. Why? Because I asked her out. The second and third time I’d still pay. But if at that point the woman doesn’t even at least offer to pay, that’s a problem. Because this is literally the nicest that she will ever be. What type of future do I really have with that woman?
If a woman expects you to always pay for everything, she’s implying that her time is worth more than yours, so you should pay for it. And I promise you that no woman will ever be too good for you, where you have to pay for her time.
You want to treat your partner like your best friend. Shit, you want your partner to be your best friend.  Would you go out to dinner with your best friend and have them pay for you every single time? No you would not. You would say let’s be teammates here, we both ate, we both drank and we both enjoyed the dinner so let’s split this 50/50.
That right there is a healthy balanced relationship. The moment you find a partner who understands this, is the moment you found someone you can truly build something with.  Don’t waste your time on people who slow you down, drag you down,
 

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