For years I felt a sense of inadequacy. I thought I wasn’t good enough for you. You tried to change me. Mold me into your ideal man. Your accessory to show off to the world. I was a project you took on. I thought you wanted to help me grow, but growth comes naturally. What you did wasn’t natural. You forced me to be someone I wasn’t.
The sad part is that I went for it. I tried because I didn’t want to lose you. I thought I couldn’t do better. I quickly found my self-worth dependent on your presence. I thought I couldn’t live without you. I moved mountains to make you happy. I did everything I could for you. Yes, I made mistakes, mistakes that I will regret for the rest of my life. But for two years you made me believe I didn’t deserve you because I wasn’t what you wanted me to be, wasn’t who you wanted me to be.
All this time you were too busy finding faults in me, while I was busy overlooking yours.
I wasn’t enough because I didn’t fit in your little box of perfectionism. I thought you were the best part of me. Thought you were the best thing that ever happened to me. But I now look into the mirror and see things clearly. The best part of me, is me. The best thing that ever happened to me, is me.
I don’t need your approval. I don’t need you by my side to shine. I shine bright without you.
So now I stand in front of your little box, the box you tried to fit me into, and I’m smashing it into pieces. Destroying the ridiculous notion that I ever needed you. Destroying the idea that you were better than me. Because a person isn’t defined by another’s standard of perfection.
You broke me into pieces. But you know what I did with those pieces. I picked them up and put them back together. Day by day a piece is coming together with another one. Bit by bit I’m whole again. I found peace in the pieces scattered across the floor. I picked myself back together to create something stronger and a bit more beautiful than before.
I’ve come to realize that I am good enough. I am worth the effort. My flaws, my mistakes, they do not define me. I tried to be a better man each and every single day, and that is what matters. I know it must come to a huge shock to you that I am finally seeing my worth. Seeing things for what they are, what they were.
I know it must come as a great surprise to you to see me living in a world where I love myself as much as I loved you. Because in the world you lived for years, you found me inferior to you. This relationship was never balanced, and that was one of many problems.
I thought I was the one who shot the gun, but now I know that I’m the one who dodged the bullet.
If you’re reading this, I promise you that you’re good enough. You’re worth the second chance. Your worth isn’t defined by how long a person is willing to stick by your side. Your worth isn’t defined by another person period. You don’t need their approval, their consent, their permission. Your identity isn’t defined by others, isn’t tied to others. If they leave, you are still you, your worth didn’t diminish just because they couldn’t value you for who you are.
You’re worth so much more, you have no idea how precious and valuable you are.
You have to really understand what God was willing to spend to redeem you and give you hope, when sin and death had their suffocating stranglehold on your life. The value of something comes from what someone is willing to pay to have it. And God paid for you. A LOT. God sent his only Son to die for us (Romans 5:8). You weren’t purchased with any common currency, but with the precious blood of Jesus.
Never forget that. So the next time someone tells you that you’re not worth it, the next time someone walks out of your life and makes you feel inadequate, remember how valuable you are. Remember how expensive you were. Nothing in this world could compare. Not remotely.
Jesus died to set you free. So why would you let another person enslave you with the idea that your worth is dependent on whether or not they want to stay.
You are valuable. You are good enough. Never doubt it, never let anyone tell you otherwise. And if they do, have the courage to walk the other way. Walk away. Because a person who says you aren’t worth it, in fact, isn’t worth themselves to have you in their life.
Please don’t go through life thinking that your worth depends on others. It does not. It never has. Nor will it ever come to that. You’re so much more than what the world will tell you.