We all have to make choices in life. When we’re young we often times have the privilege of letting our parents decide for us. They decide what school we go to. What we wear and what we have for dinner. At what time we go to bed and what sports we play. Being a child is rather easy if you think about it.
As we get older though, slowly but surely, we are being asked to make more and more choices. All of a sudden, we have to decide what to wear for our high school prom. What we want to study. Where we go to college. What kind of car to buy. The list goes on and on.
Every day you wake up, you are being given dozens of choices. Most of which are rather innocent. You choose wrong, well you just choose again the next day. But some choices are harder to make than other. Because choosing the wrong one can lead to severe consequences.
So many things we don’t get to take back. We don’t have access to a time-machine. There are no redo’s in life. What you break, stays broken. What you miss, stays gone.
Over these past months and years I have come to realize, through a lot of soul searching and self-growth, that there are things and people in this life that don’t deserve for you to choose them.
I am going to say this again because you might miss this:
There are things and people in your life that do not deserve your choosing.
There will be jobs that are going to rob you of your inner peace. I am here to tell you that you need to let those go.
There will be people in your life, friendships, that are going to rob you of your inner peace. I am here to tell you that you need to let those go.
You will find yourself in broken relationships that rob you of your inner peace. And you will ask yourself ‘what should I do?’ ‘How can I make this work?’
The answer is you don’t.
Those relationships, you need to let go. If it robs you of your peace. It’s not worth it. Trust me when I tell you that. And it is not that they are bad people, they may be great human beings. But they aren’t great for you. And you have to come to terms with that reality.
You cannot love someone else when your soul is at war.
If you have to choose between your inner peace and someone else, then that’s not a choice at all.
There is no comprise when it comes to your happiness and inner peace. No arbitration. No if’s and but’s.
Your hearts deepest desire is to simply be at peace. Don’t ever take that for granted. Don’t ever give that up.
When you have deep inner peace you learn to right the waves of chaos that surround you. In the world there may be turmoil, but you’re your own rock when your soul is calm. You don’t need to rely on others to love you or give you attention.
You demonstrate love by giving it to yourself, unconditionally. You will realize that yes, I am flawed. Yes, I have insecurities, yes, I get jealous at times. But that is okay, I will be okay. Because the person I am today, is enough. Always has been, always will be.
Don’t make your ability to love yourself conditional on someone else’s ability to love you.
When you accept your flaws, no one else can ever use them against you. Embrace your imperfections.
Your attempt to find love outside yourself always fails, because you cannot receive from another something you haven’t given to yourself.
My self-growth over these months has been incredible and I’ve loved every moment of it. I came to accept who I am as a person. As a man. I have come to accept my jealousy, my insecurities. To an extent, that is who I am. Denying that is simple avoiding the truth.
I’ve accepted them, embraced them. And I wear those flaws proudly. I do not let them control me. I control my emotions. Not the other way around.
The self-love and inner peace I’ve gained from this process has been incredible. I've decided to choose myself every time my inner peace is being questioned. That is how I live my life.
I ask myself “is this helping me be at peace, or is it pushing me further away from it?”
And if the answer is the latter, then that has to go. It is that simple.
So choose yourself. Choose your happiness. Choose your inner peace.
Once you do that, man, you will never live your life in the same way. It’s a magical transformation.