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Life

Let go of the Illusion that it Could have been any Different


Stop second-guessing. Stop doubting that things could have been any different than what they currently are. You’re stuck in the past, stuck on things that once were but no longer are. You cannot undo the past and you certainly can’t make the speculation of knowing what is best for someone.
Let go of the Illusion that it Could have been any Different

by Marvin Scholz

May 24, 2019


Stop second-guessing. Stop doubting that things could have been any different than what they currently are. You’re stuck in the past, stuck on things that once were but no longer are. You cannot undo the past and you certainly can’t make the speculation of knowing what is best for someone.
You and I need to let go of the illusion that it could have been any different. Because if it was supposed to be different, it would have been.
If you tried to make up for your mistakes, tried to correct your wrongs, tried to change to become a better person, then you did all you could. And if you did all those things, it means that your loss didn’t come in vain. That is what you should be focused on.
Not wondering why, I messed up, why he or she isn’t coming back. Wondering why they don’t change. Why they don’t grow up.
You are wasting your time and energy on things that are out of your control. We all crave closure and peace of mind. But you know what I’ve realized is the biggest closure you can find?
Letting go of the illusion that it could have been any different. Accept that things will never go back to how they used to, accept that the person you thought was your ‘forever’ person was only your ‘teaching’ person. They’ve taught you a valuable lesson. Be grateful for that and move on with your life.
You can’t live in ‘what if’s’ and ‘maybes’. That’s no way to live your life. Stop looking back and look at what is ahead.
God closes doors for a reason. I truly believe that. So, if something you wanted to work out didn’t, and you fought for it will all your heart, then maybe that is a sign that that door is meant to stay shut. On the other hand, if it’s meant for you, nothing will keep you apart from it.
The decision whether to walk away or keep fighting can be one of the most complex and difficult questions we can ever ask us.
But you know how you can make that decision a little less hard? When one person doesn’t give it their all, when there isn’t any effort being made, when change doesn’t occur. That’s when you can say “hey I tried it all, I gave it my full effort, and there still isn’t any progress. It is time to cut my losses”.
That is when you pick up the broken pieces of yourself, you heal, you grow, and you move on with your life. Accept what happened and realize that it was always supposed to end this way.
They’ve made their choice, now make yours and let go of what could have been.
 
If they walked away so easily, it means they were never meant to stay permanently. If they moved on fast, it’s because whatever you guys had, was never meant to last.
And as bad as this may hurt, as deep as it may cut, you need to realize that this isn’t a permanent defeat. It’s a temporary set back. You will come out of this stronger. And you will find what you deserve.
But in order to find what you truly deserve, you need to realize that letting go of the person, also means letting go of the illusion that it could have been any different.
 
I’m not saying pretend it didn’t happen. I am saying accept that it happened, accept that it had to happen, and find the strength to move on from it.

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