Learn How to Value Alone Time
When I tell people that I travel alone they look at me like I’m crazy. Hell, they tell me that I am crazy. Little tip that I’m going to give you right now that will go a long way.
You are on to something the minute someone tells you that you're crazy for doing something that you truly love. Always remember that. People fear what they don’t understand. And they also fear what they cannot accomplish. Traveling alone is not easy, and neither is being alone. But it is utterly necessary to value alone time.
Nowadays anything you do alone is somehow considered unconventional. It’s like we constantly are in need for external validation and reassurance. From our family, friends, significant others, you name it. We naturally crave company. It’s totally normal. It’s what makes us human. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be around other people. But you need to understand that sometimes everyone needs a little bit of alone time. Alone time to disconnect from absolutely everything and everyone.
They say time heals all wounds. I say alone time doesn’t just heal, it ameliorates, it makes you reevaluate the choices you have made, whether they were good or bad is irrelevant. What matters is that you sit down and deal with them. Alone time helps you become a better person. Because you will never truly know who you are until you are in solitude and ask yourself ‘who am I? Who do I want to be? What is my purpose in life?’
Those are questions only you can answer for yourself. Not your friends and not your family. At the end of the day this is your journey. People come, people go, but at the end it always will come down to you.
Everyone these days is so obsessed with the company of others. People will literally jump from one relationship to another just because they cannot bear the thought of being alone. How pitiful of a human being does one have to be to not love one’s own company? I will never be able to relate. Those people will go through their entire life thinking that they need another person to complete them, to fix them, to make them whole again. Your happiness doesn’t depend on others. I am going to say this again; “YOUR HAPPINESS DOESN’T DEPEND ON OTHERS”.
Those 6 words can dictate your entire life. 6 words that will change everything. And I truly need you to understand them. If you cannot be happy alone, you will never truly be happy.
Don’t just get into a relationship just so you no longer have to deal with the fact that you’re single. Don’t just be around company just so you don’t have to hear your own thoughts when you’re alone. Those voices are coming from your soul, telling you what its craving; listen. Listen to every word it’s telling you because when you’re by yourself you will find out who you really are. Not what your friends and family want you to be. Not what your boyfriend or girlfriend wants you to be. When you’re alone, nothing matters except YOU.
It’s a time to be selfish. And selfish you need to be every once in a while to figure yourself out. You can’t help others if you can’t help yourself. You can’t fix others if you’re the one that’s broken.
Ask yourself this; when was the last time you did something by yourself? When was the last time you had lunch by yourself? Went for a walk alone. Went to the gym by yourself. When was the last time you went to go have coffee somewhere by yourself? Or went to the beach, or the park? Whatever it is, it really doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’re the one doing it, without being influenced by anyone else.
If there’s something that you love doing, you won’t have a problem doing it by yourself.
I love working out. It’s a fucking passion of mine. Ask me; “Hey Marv, could you work out by yourself, for the rest of your life? And my answer to you would be: “YES”. Ask me if I could travel alone for the rest of my life and I would tell you “YES”.
I have absolutely no problem with doing things that I love by myself. Even if it’s something that I do not enjoy doing, I would still be okay with doing it alone.
What’s funny is that whenever I tell people that I started traveling by myself, the very first thing they ask me is what I do when I’m alone in a foreign country. My answer stays the same no matter where I go; “I do what I want to do”. I go visit the places that I want to see. Not my friends. I eat where I want to eat. I meet people that I want to meet. I live my life the way I want it to be lived and I don’t justify my actions to anyone.
That is the fucking beauty of being alone.
Learn how to embrace it. Live it. Love it. Lust it.