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Life

Change is Good


Change doesn’t always feel good. The uncertainty can be scary. But behind change lies growth. A better you lies behind it. And a better you is always worth the temporary discomfort of change.
 
Change is Good

by Marvin Scholz

June 12, 2019


When I was younger, I was dead set on the notion that change was awful. I hated change and everything that it came with. The uncertainty, the starting over, the new environment. I just didn't like it.
The first day of a new school year was always nerve-wracking for me. There I was, 10-year-old Marvin, about to have a panic attack because I was too scared to go to school since I didn’t know where I would find my homeroom. Didn’t know whether or not I would like my new teachers or classmates.
Fast forward 5 years and nothing much had changed since my little morning tantrums. I still had a large distaste for change. There I was at 15 years old, standing across my mother’s kitchen table. “I don’t want to move” I shouted loudly. I tried to sound compelling and determined. But my voice didn’t get the memo. It wasn’t anger that I felt, it was fear. I was scared, even worse, terrified.  And that fear came apparent in my trembling voice.  
My mother had decided it was time to leave Germany behind and move to the United States to my father. Of course, me and my siblings did not have a say in this matter. That decision was made for us.
Moving halfway across the world was a tremendous life changer for me. I left everything behind to start all over again. 15-year-old me didn’t know it then, but that change was necessary, and it was without a doubt the right decision. That didn’t make it hurt any less of course when I had to say goodbye to my grandparents and all my friends.
Leaving my old life behind was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. But it would turn out to be one of the most rewarding life events that had ever happen to me.
Just like my mother knew what I didn’t, she knew that moving out of our comfort zone, away from the easy, away from what we were used to, was necessary in order for us to have a better life. She knew what was best for me even when I couldn’t see it. Even when I yelled and fought back, even when I didn’t agree with it. She knew.
 
See, often times we think we know what we want, we know who we want to be with, we know where we want to work and where we want to live. Well, we think we know. But do we really?
Back then I thought that I belonged in Germany. I thought my place was in the city where I was born. It was home, and even though it will always be home, I now know that I had to go.
 
Sometimes we have to go too. We have to leave behind what we know. Many of us have been trained to seek the sure thing. To place our bets on what looks most likely, and to rest in the conviction of assurance. This is especially true if in some shape or form, you find yourself in many comfortable positions and places in your life.
But comfort is overrated, and not only because it is often mistaken for happiness. Comfort, for all its enticement, can be a hindrance to drive, and to destiny. Comfort can be the greatest Achilles Heel.
We think we are happy, but in reality, we are just comfortable. We think we want that someone, when really, they are just all we know. They’re comfortable. And we like comfortable.
But true happiness is not found in comfort. Your destiny does not lie with consolation.

 

Now fast forward, I am 26 years old and I long for change. I welcome it, endure it, I embrace it. It has made me who I am. I am no longer that 10-year-old boy who was too afraid to go to his first day of school.
I am the guy who hops on a 14-hour flight across the globe to a completely new environment, new people, a language barrier and often times with no clue of what to do once I get there. All by himself. That is who I am. And I love every minute of it. Well maybe not every minute of that 14-hour flight. But you get the picture.
Needles to say, my growth didn’t come from doing the same thing over and over again. It didn’t come from staying in my comfort zone. Hanging around with the same people. No, my self-improvement often times occurred when the life I thought I was supposed to live, ended up being shattered right in front of my eyes.
I am grateful for leaving my home behind. I’m grateful for then leaving Miami again when I went away for college. And I am also grateful for all the friendships that ended, all the breakups I had to go through. And trust me when I tell you that they sucked. But then again, I don’t have to tell you that.
What I thought I wanted wasn’t really all that. I was comfortable and that’s why I stayed. Because I felt like I had no reason to leave. That’s what comfort does, it traps you. Having no reason to leave is not a reason to stay. You think you are happy when in reality you are just complacent.
 
That is why change is so beautiful. Change is an unbeatable beast. It takes away everything you thought you knew. It swaps your priorities. It gives you an alternate view on others and on yourself.
Change can destroy everything your fragile hands have created — but it can also help you rebuild.
So, don’t be afraid to take chances. You should take leaps. Take risks. Expand your horizon.
 

Change can cause loss, but you will always gain something in return. An adventure. A friend. A smile. A lesson.

So, embrace the changes that are happening in your life. Embrace the heartbreak and the breakup because soon you will find something so much better. Embrace the new career, the new school, the new city that you moved to. Accept the changes that are happening in your life.
 
My greatest individual growth has come from the mists of deep, and at times uncomfortable change.  
Change doesn’t always feel good. The uncertainty can be scary. But behind change lies growth. A better you lies behind it. And a better you is always worth the temporary discomfort of change.
 
 

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