Posted on March 06 2019
I’m currently on my way to Australia. I wasn’t sure where I was going, but I knew God wanted me to be somewhere. My newfound relationship with him has been such an incredible experience. When you wrestle with God alone you really get an understanding of who you really are and who you were always meant to be. I lost the person I loved because I wasn’t the person I needed to be. I didn’t have Jesus to help me overcome my impurities. This journey has been anything but easy, but it has been so eye-opening. It’s crazy because all your life you were trained to think a certain way and then all of a sudden ‘BOOOM’ that way of thinking gets shattered and you begin to question everything. You crave intimacy with God more than you do with other people. Because he can do what others can’t. He won’t ever fail you. He won’t give up on you when you mess up one too many times. He won’t ridicule or shame you. He won’t bash you for being flawed. He wants to bring the best out in you. He will never abandon you like so many others will. I know he’s been calling for me. I know he wanted a relationship with me long before I could even form my own sentences. But I couldn’t hear him. I couldn’t sense him. Why? Because I was surrounded by sin. Surrounded by drugs, lies, corruption, and deception. How could I possibly establish a honest and strong relationship with God, when all my human relationships were corrupted and flawed? You know what I realized more than anything else when I hit rock-bottom? I realized who my true friends were. There are two kind of ‘friends’. The ones who attend your party, laugh with you, crack jokes and stay around as long it benefits them. And then there are the ones who stay long after the fun is over and help you clean up the mess. When the music stops playing, when the alcohol stops pouring, when the fun subsides. They’ll stay regardless if the fun is over. They’ll be there when things are ugly. They’ll get dirty with you. Even if they didn’t make the mess in the first place. But they’ll stay behind when no one else does. Those friends who stay to clean up the mess are the ones who you need to surround yourself with when there is no mess. See, the ‘friends’ who’d call me up every weekend to party when things were going great, quickly abandoned me when my life was in ruin. When I needed them the most, they disappeared on me. It’s disappointing to watch the people you supported all your life, let you down. It’s a reality check. A tough one. But one that may be necessary. The support and love I received from people I was never really close to has been astonishing. There are a few people who deserve all of my gratitude. I don’t know where I would be without them. Thank you Christian, Larry, Jesus, Sandra, Nicole and everyone else who helped me in this journey. You all have been amazing. You were there when no one else was. Words can’t give justice of how grateful I am. See, bad company corrupts good character. - Corinthians 15:33. No matter how good you are, bad company will question your morals and compromise your judgment. The day I started turning to God was the same day most of my ‘friends’ disappeared out of my life. And I believe that that is not a coincidence!
I wouldn’t want it any other way. Our hearts and minds are like dry sponges. What we focus on is what will soak in and saturate us. Surround yourself with strong minded people who want to see you grow.